growing up

We celebrated PB’s 10-month birthday a couple of days ago. 10 months. TEN MONTHS. 2 months away from 1 year. ONE YEAR. Yikes!

I remember when PB was a newborn, it would drive me nuts when people would pass on the little cliche sayings, ‘they grow up so fast’, ‘it flies by’, or ‘enjoy them while they’re young because it doesn’t last long’. At the time, I had bags under my eyes. I was functioning on .92 hours of sleep a night. I was drowning in feedings and dirty diapers. There was NO way that this would ‘fly’ by.

And now, here we are, 2 months from his one year birthday. As overwhelmed as I was those first few weeks, I wish I would have cherished them a little more. I was talking to one of my best friends (hi, W!) the other day (she’s pregnant with a baby girl, PB’s future wife 😉 and she said something that really stopped me in my tracks. She said she’d been talking to some other moms about how fast that first year goes by. She said that it seems that you’re always waiting and anticipating that next milestone, and before you know it, that first year is gone. So stinkin’ true. I wanted to crawl under my bed, suck my thumb, pour a tall glass of milk, and eat a whole dozen of my granny’s holiday party cookies. Rebellious, I know.

This entire year has been nothing but waiting and anticipation for the next milestone. It’s not because I don’t like the stage he’s in right now, it’s just that I love to watch him learn and grow. Sometimes I feel guilty, though, because I feel like I’ve wished his life away. When he was a newborn, we couldn’t wait until he’d get to take a big boy bath. When he started taking big boy baths, we couldn’t wait until he started smiling at us. Once he started smiling, we couldn’t wait until he was sitting. And now, he’s started to walk. How did all of this happen so fast?

I find this true with myself often times, too. I’m always waiting and anticipating that next step, whether it was going to college, getting married, having a baby, or now, building a house. I remember saying, “I can’t wait until Ben and I get married”, and here we are today, married for 2 1/2 years with a 10 month old son. I don’t want to wake up 50 years from now and realize that I have spent my entire life wishing and waiting for the next big step or milestone. I don’t want to measure my life by the milestones I’ve hit. I’d rather be too busy enjoying each and every day to even think about the next step.

Walking is just another milestone that PB’s reached and Lord willing, he’ll reach many more. Today and everyday, I want to make a point that I will be so busy playing Ninja Turtles and trucks with PB that I won’t even think about or care about what happens next.

They do grow up fast, you know.